Executive Coaching Tip: The Hidden Cost of Distrust

The lack of trust in an organization's capability acts like a tax which can easily double the cost of doing business. Please read below for an example of how this can cost YOUR business, if you have any questions please visit my website here, www.your-executive-coach.com

Stephen M. R. Covey recently published a fascinating book, "The Speed of Trust", in which he argues that mistrust doubles the cost of doing business. What follows is a personal example of why this is true.

While waiting for my car to be serviced, I asked a salesperson to price out a new car. Despite being close to my home, I never bought from this dealership because their prices were uncompetitive. The salesman assured me that management had changed and things would be different. He called me with his "absolute best" price which seemed high. Then he offered to lower his best price by $500.00. I began to question his integrity.

When service was completed, I presented the clerk with a discount coupon which was rejected. He was not aware that his dealership was offering this discount on repairs and services. And since the damaged tire was replaced rather than repaired, he insisted that the coupon was not applicable, I began to question the intentions of an organization that failed to communicate information with its staff and seemed to be splitting hairs with their customers.

I agreed to settle the matter later and picked up the car. While driving I noticed that the dashboard was indicating under inflated tires, even though the service was to replace, inflate and rotate tires. I began to question the competence of the service department for failing to reset the on board computer.

A new salesperson who "heard" I was looking for a car. called me at home. I told him that I was already dealing with a salesman at his dealership. Later I received a call from the original salesman saying that he "heard" I was interested in a new car. He was unaware that I had been called by another salesperson, that he had already met me at the dealership and that we had previously discussed price. I began to question whether this company was really interested in results or was just interested in activity from its employees.

My lack of trust in this company's integrity, intention, competence and results kills any chance that I will ever buy from them. How many potential customers feel the same way and hide their feelings?

Goldilocks and Company Morale.

Research shows that the happiest employees are not those with the largest salaries. Rather satisfied employees feel a sense of purpose - a sense that they are contributing to something that is bigger than themselves. Employees don't need grandiose or revolutionary ideas, just goals that are credible and anchored in values that they can identify with.

If the goals are too small, employees can become cynical. If the goals are too ambitious, people may feel helpless. So the best thing is for the company to provide goals which are just out of reach --requiring employees to build upon their current skills and abilities. Get employee input to determine if the company's goals follow the Goldilocks principal--not too hot or cold, but just the right amount of stretch.

Companies with the highest morale are those that not only provide clear and reasonable goals for their employees, but feedback as to how they are progressing. Nothing kills staff morale more than an employee who feels helpless or in the dark about his role in the company. Good communication combats the feeling of helplessness and promotes engagement and involvement-- necessary conditions for keeping up morale.

For more information about this topic and my Executive Coaching Programs please visit my website at www.your-executive-coach.com

Your Image or Your Health: You Decide

I would like to offer my two cents to help you stay on track with your diet and exercise during the holidays or special occasions. This is when you are most likely to put yourself at risk. I know. I’m a doctor. And I have had quadruple by-pass surgery.

I should have seen heart disease coming. For years everyone urged me to change my lifestyle - exercise more, lose weight, and take time to enjoy life. So I’d work out at a gym, go on a diet, or read a good book. But in no time I was back to my same old ways; keeping up appearances and giving in to unhealthy behaviors. It was only recently that I understood that these two behaviors were related.

As a child, I often suppressed negative feelings in order to please my overly stressed parents. I also had a weight problem. Later as a psychologist and executive coach, being seen by others as resourceful and intelligent contributed to my success. But I had little time for exercise or relaxation.

What I didn’t understand then was that managing my image and managing my health had a lot in common; they both required an expenditure of energy. We call that energy “self control” and it is a limited resource. In other words, if you had to deal with demanding clients all day, and not lose your patience, it’s going to be much harder to push yourself to exercise after work. You left your willpower at the office much like Tiger Woods left his self control on the golf course.

Since you need self-control to sustain a healthy lifestyle, you may have to decide which is more important - protecting your image or your health. That’s a tough decision, since you want both.

The way out of this dilemma is to get into the habit of expressing your “self” rather than managing your image. To express yourself you have to -
1. Know yourself —your own unique blend of self- doubts, passions, values, and talents.

2. Accept yourself and your experiences.
You’ll find less need to portray an image.

3. Be honest.
In most cases people appreciate you more when you are being yourself.


In summary, there are occasions where you’ll want to control how you come across or manage your image. If you have to keep your feelings to yourself at the office or a holiday party, that’s understandable. Just be aware that you’ll have less self control when that rich dessert beckons you and move away from the table.

Be particularly wary if heart disease is an issue for you and managing your image is in the forefront of your mind. This is the case with my heart patients who seem to be uncomfortable socially. They attempt to hide self doubts or negative feelings in order to be seen in a favorable light. To the degree that you can be yourself you’ll have more willpower to sustain a healthy lifestyle. Your heart will thank you.

For more information about this topic and my Executive Coaching Programs please visit my website at www.your-executive-coach.com

Men and Heart Disease

We are all familiar with the statistics, heart disease kills men about as frequently as it does women. But for men, the road to heart disease seems to be different. I say "seems to be", because both men and women with heart disease escape the present like their pants are on fire. But for men, the future is what attracts them and for women, the past is what haunts and preoccupies them.

Men are more likely than women to become "Type A" personalities. This personality, like "Type D" for women, has been linked to increased risk of heart disease. Type A's are hard driving, aggressive, ambitious, competitive, impatient, and have short fuses. The present moment for Type A men is simply a path to some future fulfillment. The present is an inconvenience that postpones the day when men can be more successful, happier, wealthier, thinner,or at least be doing something "more important" than marking time or waiting.

Men, like women can benefit by visiting the present more often. Celebrating the little things in life, appreciating nature, being grateful for what you have and who you are....these are activities that give you more energy. You need energy to make good lifestyle decisions. The present is like sunlight to the plant. Don't pass it by.

For more information about this topic and my Executive Coaching Programs please visit my website at www.your-executive-coach.com

Women and Heart Disease

Did you know that Heart Disease is the number one killer of women? Did you know that a woman is seven times more likely than a man to die from Broken Heart Syndrome" a sudden, intense stressor like the loss of a loved one? Why are women so vulnerable?

I believe that women are more vulnerable than men because they are more likely to internalize their negative emotions than men. In general, men are more outspoken about their negative feelings, less sensitive to the feelings of other people. A woman may be unwilling to direct her anger outward because she is anxious about disapproval and fearful of rejection. She may hide her sad feelings for fear of burdening others.

Research shows that women are more likely to be categorized as Type D ("Distressed) than men. These women experience negative emotions such as anger and sadness but inhibit the expression of these feelings. This personality type has been associated with increased risk of a heart event.

Women who are distressed are often frozen in the past, as if they were traumatized by their upbringing ("raised with a stick"). Their unresolved experiences continue to hamper them in the present. These women need to identify the early experiences that shaped their lives, and learn how to deal with these powerful experiences more effectively. They need to understand when the past is running them and learn how to become more present instead.

For more information about this topic and my Executive Coaching Programs please visit my website at www.your-executive-coach.com

The present moment: Balm for the Heart

People who have heart disease don't get that way by accident. They usually have something to do with their condition. Perhaps they didn't watch their weight, or worked too hard, or struggled with negative feelings like depression or anger. My heart patients need to learn ways to relax, to experience a sense of peace and tranquility to recharge their batteries once in awhile.

Unfortunately, the only time anyone can experience such a recharge is in the present moment. And this is a time period which has been largely foreign to my heart patients. My heart patients grew up in circumstances which didn't allow for much peace and tranquility in their lives. Many were just too busy trying to survive. They had to focus on a better future or memories of a distant past to get by when times were tough. In other words, they often fled the present moment like their pants were on fire.

Meanwhile, thoughts about the past and future were hardly a refuge for my heart patients growing up. The past was filled with regrets, guilt, remorse, and upsets more than positive memories, and the future was more about anxiety, worry and fear of what could happen rather than wonderful visions. Today, as adults, my heart patients hardly experience the present moment at all, except perhaps as a means to escape pain.

This is too bad because real healing can only take place in the present. Smelling the roses, experiencing a connection with others, seeing the beauty all around us, recognizing the stillness that is underneath our busy minds are reparative and health promoting behaviors that are in the present. Only when the heart patient can pause long enough to be here now, can he escape the stress created by past and future thoughts. The Now is a respite from the negative thoughts and emotions that plague my heart patients. It is balm for the heart.

For more information about this topic and my Executive Coaching Programs please visit my website at www.your-executive-coach.com

The Heart of Leadership: Emotional Intelligence

There are two areas that most concern leaders today; the long term well-being of their company, and their own personal health. Fortunately, Leaders can maximize both by becoming emotionally intelligent.

Leaders with emotional intelligence demonstrate increased profits, less turnover, and increased production. These leaders inspire loyalty and trust, retain talent, create atmospheres in which creative ideas flourish and have better bottom lines.

They are also 50 times more likely to be alive 15 years later, than those with low emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a protective force in the battle against the nation’s number one killer, heart disease.

Leaders with emotional intelligence are able to discharge toxic emotions which effect the heart. Secondly, they are able to create intimate relationships which protect the heart. Finally, they manage their emotions in ways that promote heart healthy behaviors.


EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Daniel Goleman has been credited with bringing emotional intelligence to public attention, with his publication of Emotional Intelligence in 1995. The concept refers to proficiency in five general areas:

1) Self awareness (recognizing a feeling as it happens)
2) Managing emotions (handling feelings so that they are appropriate; realizing what’s behind a feeling)
3) Motivating oneself (emotional self control; delaying gratification; channeling emotions to reach goal)
4) Empathy (sensitivity to others’ feelings and concerns, and ability to take their perspective)
5) Handling relationships (managing emotions in others, social competence).


Leaders with emotional intelligence are more likely to have a “Survivor Personality”. Their endorsement of a combination of personality opposites allows emotionally intelligent leaders to empathize with a diverse set of people, promoting social harmony and shared values.

Such a leader maximizes his chances of creating a vibrant and competitive company, as well as increasing his longevity.

In contrast, leaders with an “At Risk” personality have narrow personality traits, the product of defensiveness. Disowning or denying significant aspects of himself creates blindspots in the leader. These blindspots increase vulnerability to stress and reduce capacity to make effective workplace decisions.

For more information about this topic and my Executive Coaching Programs please visit my website at www.your-executive-coach.com